separation anxiety

It's odd to be doing things for the last time, even though this is only the second time around. I know what to expect, but I also know I will probably never experience these seasonal things again. The fruits, the parties, the Hawaiian T-shirts that mark the beginning of the rainy season.
I've even begun thinking things like 'I could probably ship this stuff home a couple months early. I wonder where I'll be living a year from now? (Probably my parents' couch)' What a strange situation, to only have a first and a last without any flesh in the middle. There will be no confusing years between to lose, no lingering.
I had a dream last night that I was looking through a photo album from the Water Festival last year. I did not take pictures because I didn't want to get my camera wet. But the photos are vivid and colorful; mental snapshots that have no place in reality. Thailand will forever exist in my mind, a world apart.
I have begun the long process of saying goodbye, just as I have become comfortable with saying hello.

11.5 months to go - - - - -

10-20: trekking around Hanoi and coastal areas in the Gulf of Tonkin
21-26: Mid-service conference Bangkok, ie. huge parties at night and sitting hung over through boring sessions during the day.
27-5: English camp for 9th graders and school directors; obviously I did not organize this one.
May - September: leaving town as often as possible to help with English Camps and Travelling Circus Theater Camps; co-teaching when I 'have time'; English Club at the hospital twice a week; hanging with the orphans, developing Life Skills activities for them and upcoming camp.
October: term break, flying home; Halloween.
November: Community Leadership Camp - running and participating in; Thanksgiving.
December: holidays - King's 80th birthday jubliee, Hannukah, Christmas.
January: End of service processes begin; Sports Camp season; begin to say good-bye.
February: final Youth Theater Festival; must organize!
March: End of service evaluations, exit interviews, health check-up, spending most of my time illegally out of site with my friends before we rejoin the terrifying world of the USA.
April: travelling around Asia, avoiding getting a real job.
May - forever: real life.

Good thing I don't have to plan anything else for a while.